New year

31st of December. It will be a new year tomorrow. This year has been the best year of my life. It has given a lot to me...a wonderful college, best friends and...RV! Everything has been so perfect. But even gods envy a person who is blessed with a perfect life. This year is ending on a bad note. Suddenly, things have taken a turn for the worse. RV does not talk much to me these days. I don't know what's wrong. The only connection between us is internet. No phone calls or anything. I haven't seen him since long. It all happened after his exams got over and the winter break began. Even when we chat online, he is rude to me most of the times. I try to be as calm as possible. I still behave in a polite and nice way because I don't want to upset him or fight. I don't want to lose him. But Its like...I don't know him anymore. He doesn't behave like the person he was...or he pretended to be. He doesn't share anything about his life with me.  He doesn't tell me what is happening in his life. He is not interested in what is happening in my life. He doesn't want to know anything. He does not ask me anything. Even if I tell him something, he is so disinterested. So I have stopped telling him everything. Earlier, he used to ask me everything that happened during the day. But now he is not bothered. I feel sad. I don't know what's wrong. He seems to be irritated with me all the time, as if I am an intruder in his life.

Love and more

I am studying a lot these days. Well, my exams are after a month and I usually start studying two days before my first exam but this time I have nothing else to do. It is exam time for B.Com people and as you know, I have no friends in my course. So I have no other option left. I don't have much people to hang out with or talk with because of my group's exam. So I just study all the time. I keep a book by my side all the time and the first thing I do when I wake up is open my book and start reading. I study all day long and then go to bed. 

They are left with just two exams. I don't get to talk to RV much. He attends my calls sometimes when he is not studying. I know some seniors from his course so I keep telling him what's important and what not. That in one of the reasons he attends my calls.

Troubles

I had a bad day today. RV and I fought for the first time. I actually cried today...huh...this is so embarrassing. I never cry.

We celebrated Anant's birthday today. When I told my mom that we are celebrating Anant's birthday, she first thought that Anant is a guy. Ha. Ha. I had to explain to her that Anant is our college's dramatic society. I wore an Indian dress for the first time in my college life and I got compliments. We all enjoyed a lot at the party. We sung, danced and ate. Many of us had prepared something or the other. Everyone liked my dance performance. When Suchit and I were performing everyone was shouting RV's name. Palak told me later that he was smiling throughout the performance. Pratima said that the performance was very romantic. Everyone could actually feel the romance. 

My perfect life

10 days have passed since our return from the trip but everyone still seems to be thinking about the trip all the time. We have "legendary tales" to narrate to everyone who was not lucky enough to be on that trip. Everyone has been congratulating me ever since. It feels good. College life is just what I had seen in movies and dreamed about. How can God shower so much happiness on someone? My life is just perfect. Perfect friends, perfect love and perfect college. Everything is bright and lovely. And you know what..Some people are even jealous of my life. They say so to me.

One more day of love..

On 4th November, one day after the most beautiful day of my life, I woke up in an ecstatic mood. I had a dream that night...I saw RV and me happy together...together for years to come! 

That day our teachers had decided to take us to "Manu Temple". We got ready and went to boys' room to see if they were ready. I hugged RV. Everyone intentionally left us alone in the room and went to have breakfast. I became uncomfortable. I could see that RV was feeling more uncomfortable than me. He immediately got out of the room and asked me to lock the room and come downstairs. That was a very awkward situation but I got a feeling that he really respected me. I was happy that RV had reacted this way.

After having breakfast we all were asked to go to Manu temple, 3 kms from Manali, on foot. Initially, we all walked together but later everyone was walking in their own small groups. I was walking alone...I wanted to. I love spending time alone at such places. I like to think about this life, nature and this world. RV thought I was upset about something so he came to me and started walking with me, but I told him to let me be for sometime. Then we reached a market where all of us again sat down together to rest. But after sometime everyone started walking again, leaving RV and me alone. This time there was an awkward silence between us. I was shy and he was clueless about what to talk. This was our first day after an official relationship and we had never felt this way before with each other. But gradually, we again started feeling comfortable with each other. 

When we reached Manu temple, everyone saw a new side of me yet again. They saw me worshiping Krishna. I stood there inside the temple communicating with Krishna for more than half an hour. RV was surprised to see that side of me. Not that I am very religious or something..I just believe we all need someone to talk to..someone to believe in! From a very young age, I started seeing the image of that someone in Krishna..and over the years I have become a strong follower of Him. I believe that even if I have nobody with me, I'll still not be alone because I can always share everything with my God. After the visit we again started walking. At one place we saw a beautiful bench placed under a tree. The location was so romantic. Suchit asked me to sit there with RV. They wanted to take a picture of me with him. I looked back and saw all the teachers coming. I did not like the idea very much so i plainly rejected, RV pleaded with me but I am so damn stubborn that now I am regretting my behavior. Why couldn't I just get a picture clicked? RV and the others were very disappointed. Why am I so unromantic..huh!

Finally, the beautiful and unforgettable trip came to an end. We had to leave for Delhi that very day. But before leaving we were still given some time to wander in the market. I went with Riya to buy something for RV. I got our names painted on a key ring. I bought some other random thing for him. It was not very expensive but I just wanted the thing to always bring back all the memories of Manali. We all were so engrossed in shopping that we never realized that we were late and when we reported at the bus stop, all of us were punished. The principal told us to keep standing inside the bus. But when we saw that no one was watching, we silently sat down on our seats. I gave the present to RV. He was overwhelmed with joy. He said, "If i could I would stand up and hug you." 

We once again had a lot of fun. I never had so much fun in all my life. Eventually, sleep overcame everyone. It was a full moon night and we were still on the hilly track. Mountains and the full moon was a treat to the eyes. RV was holding my hand and talking to me about the beauty of everything. Every minute that I spent with him, unraveled to me how romantic he could be. But I was too tired to say anything. I did not want to but, sadly enough, I slept! I woke up in the middle of the night to see that RV was still awake. He was waiting for me to wake up. I apologized to him for sleeping and then we started talking again. Everything was so peaceful. He was looking into my eyes. His gaze was fixed on me. I was again feeling shy. I told him to stop staring at me but he never moved his eyes away. I again started feeling sleepy. I tried to control it but couldn't. I requested RV to sleep but he said it was such a beautiful night. "How can I sleep? I don't know when will we ever have the opportunity of being together like this. I just want to be with you right now." I was feeling helpless. No matter how much I tried to keep myself awake, I just couldn't. I don't remember when but I again dozed off. I woke up with a shudder when Kashif almost yelled, "Isha, it is 8 in the morning and you are still asleep. We have almost reached. Look RV did not even sleep at night. He was waiting for you to wake up." I felt bad..really bad. How could I have done this. Riya and Suchit told me that RV had been up all night and was singing songs and disturbing them to keep himself awake. I asked RV as to why he didn't sleep. He said that he was waiting for me to get up. I asked him, "Why couldn't you wake me up?" I felt horrible when he said, "I did not want to disturb your sleep. I just wanted you to wake up yourself. And by the way, you look beautiful while sleeping." 

We finally reached college but none of us wanted this trip to end. When we got down from the bus Riya dragged me to a corner and told me that Suchit had proposed Riya that night and she had accepted it.I was shocked at first but when Riya and RV told me that Suchit had the intentions of proposing her all the time I felt happy for both of them. Now, it was time for RV to go back home. I hugged him tight. I did not want him to leave. I watched him going with mixed emotions of joy and sorrow as he moved towards the metro station.

The Manali trip was the most awesome thing that ever happened to me. We had all gone to the trip as individuals and returned as a group of inseparable friends and lovers. 

The best proposal ever

I am back from the trip. I had no time to write anything but  I'll tell you everything that happened on the trip. 

I am COMMITTED! Yes, he proposed me. I never expected this after he said that he was not ready for a relationship. 

On the first day of the trip we went to Rohtang pass. I was so excited and charged up that I trekked all the way to the peak of a high hill. 13 of us started trekking but only two could make it to the top. Everyone was so impressed. I was feeling proud. Even our principal praised me. :D We all ate maggi and had fun when we came back. Then in the evening we were back to Manali. The teachers said we could roam the streets till 8. Everyone was busy shopping. The girls went back to the hotel because they were tired. Only Riya, Isha and I still had the energy to look around a little. The guys looked more interested in shopping. They were looking for I don't know what! They did not even bother to take us along. They left us alone in the market. But we too didn't care. We flirted with some other guys. And when we realized it was getting late and we had to get back to our hotel, which was in quite a secluded place, we called RV. RV was not at all bothered. He told us to hold on and was talking to the shopkeeper. I was angry. I dropped the phone and then Riya dialed Suchit's number. He also seemed busy shopping. We were mad at them by that time. It was dark and they did not even care about us. Leave the rest but RV? We were so upset that we decided to go back on our own. Angry as we were, we started heading towards the hotel. The path was so creepy that we got scared. Riya scared us more by saying, "Tie your hair in a ponytail. I have heard that there are many spirits on hill stations." We were praying all this while. To our relief, we came across two male teachers going back to the hotel. We covered rest of the path with them. 

But when the guys came back, we did not talk to them. RV kept on apologizing all the time but I did not want to talk to him. Suchit and Kashif  left hope after some time but RV didn't. We had a bonfire party that night. Riya and I were dancing separately. We did not want to dance with those careless people. But rest of the group was dancing together. Later RV and Suchit again apologized and this time I accepted the apologies. But Riya was still not listening. She started talking to RV but had a terrible fight with Suchit. She said that he was a rude and arrogant person. But later that night everything was solved. Riya and I talked for hours at length. We had suddenly become such close friends. But one thing that was disturbing me...Isha's behaviour. She had been very rude with me since the time we had boarded the bus. I was unable to understand her problem. Initially, I tried replying politely to every harsh comment she made. Later, I had no patience left! I did not talk to her much after that. Even RV was not very nice to her. Whenever Isha tried coming close to him, he rudely ordered her to maintain distance. I was not very comfortable with his rudeness but I was happy that he atleast took care of what I did not like.

Next morning was cold but pleasant. We were given just an hour to get ready, and we were four people in one room. We quickly dressed up to leave for Solang valley. I had no idea when I was having my breakfast that the day was going to become the MOST MEMORABLE AND BEAUTIFUL DAY OF MY LIFE. After having breakfast, we were to catch a local bus - the only mode of transport to the valley. Everyone occupied the last row. Riya and I sat together. RV was busy watching the beauty of the hills...so was I! It took us an hour to reach a place some kilometers from the valley. The bus did not go any further. We had to walk our way to Solang. As we were all taking pictures and happily walking, our principal commanded us to trek downhill. He pointed towards the hill on which the road was made. The hill was covered with trees and bushes and we had no ropes or sticks. But none of us showed any sign of complaint. Instead, we ran as fast as we could to win the undeclared race. After reaching the lower road, we were taken to a beautiful lake. We had to cross a delicate bridge. Then came the biggest challenge for me. Because of my previous day's over exertion, I was suffering from backache, and we were told to climb a steep hill which did not even have trees or bushes to act as support. It was grassy and greasy  I climbed it with great difficulty. Suchit had to hold my hand all the time to push me upwards with him. RV had already reached the top. I was really angry with him for being so selfish. Later we went to a very beautiful village. We were jumping on the roofs of the houses. After some time we had to go to some other place. Again, our respected teachers told us to take a shortcut. It was a cramped road. Even walking there was a difficult task. RV was holding my hand. All the teachers were behind us. I was surprised. RV was the sort of guy who would not do anything to spoil his image in front of teachers. He knew what I was thinking. He said, "I can hold your hand here, right? The road is not good and we have an excuse. No one will find it odd." I just kept quiet and nodded. We were taken to some place to have lunch. After lunch we were given time to have some fun. RV was reading something. I went over to him and asked him what was written. He abruptly hid the page and said it was nothing. Just some poems he had brought with him to read at this beautiful place. He asked me to leave him alone for some time. I did as he said. We all enjoyed a lot there. It was 3:30 and we had to catch the last local bus which would leave at 5:10. If we missed the bus, there was no other way of going back. So we started walking towards the bus stop. I felt that RV was behaving differently. His behaviour had, all of a sudden, changed! He was sweeter than usual. We all sat in some dhaba near the bus stop. It was 4 'o' clock. 

After everyone had settled, RV said that he wanted to explore the place and so he wanted me to come along. I didn't want to go alone with him. What would the teachers think? And if we missed the bus? So I hesitated at first. But when he insisted I went with him, still doubtful. He took me to a beautiful but secluded road. We sat on a bench made on one side of the road. Behind the bench was a beautiful meadow covered with trees and fallen leaves. RV talked to me about life, us and love. I was still trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Then he asked me to enter the meadow with him. I declined his offer. I was scared. Why did he want me to go to the meadow? What was in his mind? And what if we did not make it at time for the bus? He requested me many times but I never agreed. I said that I wanted to go back. He was irritated and he said, "Why can't you spend some time with me? Why do you want to go back with me? Okay, if you want to go back then let us go." He stood up angrily. I was more than relieved and happily went where others were. When we went back we saw Riya and Isha fighting. Riya was calling Isha a bi***. I asked Kashif, who was a silent spectator, as to what had happened. He told me that Riya was angry with Isha because she thought that Isha had bi***ed about her. Meanwhile, RV was talking to Abhi. He said that I wasn't going alone with him so Abhi offered him to give us company. I readily agreed but I was confused that why were they so insistent on going to that particular place. It was 4:40. All three of us went back to that place. Abhi and RV talked to me for a while. Then Abhi also requested me to spend some time alone with RV. I again rejected. Then Abhi went somewhere and he said he was coming..though he never came back. It was 5 now and I was restless. In 10 minutes the bus would leave. I now begged RV, "Please, let us go back. Otherwise they'll leave us." He was annoyed and he angrily agreed. 

As we were walking back, RV suddenly started praising my inner and outer beauty. I felt like a fool who did not understand what was RV trying to do. He said, "Sometimes I just feel like praising you. Please stay here for a while." And then he started saying something in different languages. I did not understand a word of what he was saying but then he said, "...in Hindi they say Main tumse pyaar karta hoon and in english I Love you." My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. He had never said the "love" word before. But I still had no idea why he was saying this when he suddenly bent on his knee and took my hand into his'. I was shocked. I did not know how to react. I started shouting. "Get up for god's sake! Someone will see us." "Today, I don't care if someone sees us. I'll not get up till I finish saying what I want to. This is the way you wanted it to be. Isha, I love you and you are special to me. I want you to be my lover. I want you to be with me till fate wants us to be. I wanted to give you a surprise. But before you answer I want you to know three things:first, you know that my career is my priority. Second, if you'll be my girlfriend then you'll be completely mine. And third, I want you to be true to me." I was too shocked to say anything. I was standing with one hand covering my lips and the other in his hand. I was trembling. His hand was shaking too. I couldn't get a word out of my mouth. I simply nodded saying yes. But I had decided one thing...that no matter what happened I would never be disloyal to him. I would never hurt him or leave him. I would be with him forever. I didn't tell him that because I was speechless. He was happy. He stood up, hugged me and kissed me on my cheeks. He had kissed me for the first time. The feeling of being hugged this time was different. I felt like I belonged here. He took out a handmade card from his bag. He had made this especially for me. It was a lovely card. He had written all his feelings on the card. He had even gone as far as decorating it. He also gave me the idols of kullu and manali. Kullu was the king and manali his queen. He told me the significance of the couple. He told me that it would always keep us together, as was the popular belief in the region. He also told me that he wanted to give me a buoquet of flowers and that is why that previous night he and the others had left us all by ourselves, but they couldn't find one. I was just too happy to say anything. I was blushing. I could feel the heat. We were walking back holding hands when Abhi came running and told us to rush or the bus would leave. It was such a dramatic scene. We were running, still holding hands. 

The bus was waiting for us. A senior told us to quickly get into the bus. I was panting. There was no place to sit...not even to stand. So we made some place to stand. RV was standing behind me. He was holding my arms. Abhi looked at him with a questioning look. RV made a gesture saying yes. Abhi went to the front where rest of our group was sitting. RV made me sit somewhere. Isha sat on my laps. Then we heard voices of everyone from the front shouting, "Congratulations RV!" I was still blushing. I hid my face. When the bus reached Manali's market everyone started congratulating us. I couldn't say anything. Palak and everyone was asking me what happened. I was silent. The boys were so amazed to see me blushing. They had never seen this side of me. They had always known me as a tomboyish person. Kashif made a video of me. Everyone asked for a treat. RV treated everybody. RV bought an ice-cream for me but I was too excited to eat anything. That night when we went back, we went to the boys' room. But soon the teachers came and told us to go back to our rooms. Riya took me to the corridor and asked me about the proposal. I was telling her eerything when we saw RV and some seniors standing in the corridor of the lower floor. I said Hi to RV. He went back to his room and brought a video camera. He asked me to come downstairs and take the video camera. It was Isha's camera. I shyly said that I didn't want to come. I am sure he would have been amazed by my behavior. Anyways, he came upstairs. Well, the camera was an excuse. He just wanted to hug me and wish me good night. That was the best day of my life. I have never had such a beautiful day in my life. RV has done something that no one has or will ever do for me. I feel blessed that I am so special to someone...to a person that is so special to me too. I used to tell him what my dream proposal was like...but I never knew that he would make my dream come true...

I just love RV. I am so happy. I am too sleepy now. I'll write the rest of it, dear diary, tomorrow..Good night...Love will prevail!!