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Everything messed up!

"Whhhhhaat? Are you serious?" I was amazed when Palak confessed that she had started liking someone else. "I don't like RV anymore. He is a friend now. Just a friend. You know what..The moment I met Sakshi's classmate I forgot everything else. He is a great dancer. You should have watched the way he dances. When I went in for the dance auditions today, I fell in love with him at first sight. But I stepped on his toes while dancing. That was so embarrassing you know. But he is so cute." She said everything in one breath. I could feel her excitement once again. 

I am so full of different emotions. How can she? Such an abrupt change? Whats in her mind? I seriously cannot figure out anything. But I am happy at the same time. Finally I won't be feeling guilty anymore.. But I wasted two days for Palak's sake. Yesterday I was trying to find a solution to get  Rohan out of my mind and today I was talking to Rohan only about Palak. And she says they are friends now?!?! Uhhh! I made a fool of myself. Silly me! Everything is so messed up in my head.

Today in college when I sat in the corridor with Rohan. I asked him, "How do you find Palak?". "Ya she is a nice girl" was his careless reply. I figured out easily from his answer that he did not think much of Palak. He found her nice but nothing more than that. He mimicked her lazy behavior sometimes but that was all! okay, I am going to take the credit of praising Palak more than was needed in front of Rohan. But now i feel how useless it was. 

My thoughts are wandering in different directions. I do not know what to think, what to feel, what to do? In fact, I have no idea what to write. I am confused. Do i seriously like Rohan? Am I happy because Palak likes him no more? Or am I angry with her? How can I like a guy I met only two days ago? I definitely cannot share this feeling with anyone. Its so strange its happening. I have liked guys earlier but nothing like this one. I was fascinated by him even when I found him so arrogant. I didn't even know him then. And I do not believe in something that is called blah and blah at first sight! Why am I even thinking about all this? I have other things in my life. Why this? I am not thinking about this anymore!


Our first encounter

Ahhh! Monday morning and the college which I had started disliking on the very first day...not a good combination. I woke up late this morning, wasn't in a cheerful mood and absent-mindedly poured my milk all over the floor. (yes, I still drink milk!) But, one thing was still fascinating me...the idea of meeting my sister's crush. I don't know why I was so eager to meet Rohan. "Chill! He is my sister's crush, not mine. I haven't even seen him" I thought and got into my car.

College seemed to be a bit more lively today.There were many new faces in college today. I found out later in the day that these chirpy people were our seniors and their classes had commenced today so they hadn't come on OUR first day. I was wandering aimlessly in the corridor of my college when a senior got hold of me. "Hey fuchha,come here." he called out to me in a commanding tone. I am not afraid of such bullies or anything. I am an extrovert and bold enough to face such people. But, no one had taught me the ways of college. I didn't know that this is how it goes on the first days of college. Anyways, I went to the guy and he demanded, "What's your name?" I was in no mood to surrender "What's your name?" I questioned back. He was taken aback by my question as he wasn't expecting anything of this sort. A snobbish looking girl standing next to him commented, "Oh! miss attitude. How rude! We're just asking for your name. But let her go Ankit, she's not worth talking to!" My mood changed from bad to worse. But with a feeling of triumph I moved towards my class.

As I went to my class I could see no one from my class. New faces were all staring at me as I entered...most of them were. But I silently went to one of the desks and sat there. A senior was sitting on the table of the desk next to mine. And an arrogant looking guy (who didn't seem to be a senior anyway because of his school boy looks) was sitting on the bench. I felt drawn towards that guy. "He is cute, but how cheeky. He isn't that cool" was my prejudiced opinion. The guy was being ragged by that senior ( although in a very casual way). She asked him about his interests. "I have a passion for acting" He said with an air of haughtiness (or as i supposed it to be). This thing in him attracted me more as I was passionate about acting as well. I liked his style. The senior (whose name, as I later discovered, was Sunidhi) was also impressed by his statement. "Okay then! Show us something, entertain us with your acting" She said. She was straightforward and a bit bossy. But I like her anyway. The guy said defending himself " I can't act on the spot. I need some script and time to practice." Here I, trying to seek his attention, passed a sarcastic comment "Why can't anyone act on the spot? An actor can act without the script and everything" Sunidhi agreed with me. But That guy didn't pay much heed to my comment and started a friendly argument with Sunidhi. This enraged me. I felt insulted. I made up my mind to dislike this guy in future. But somewhere down my heart I knew that I had started feeling something for him. Only a little bit though.

But that was not all for the day. The second day of my college was filled with a lot more excitement than I had expected. Palak called out to me later in the day. She was sitting with her classmates in the corridor and I was roaming like idiots with my new friends from my class.Personally i feel all of them are useless. She took me to a corner and from there giving me a secret wink said pointing towards a guy, "That's RV!". My eyes popped out to see who he was. He was the same guy who had unintentionally or intentionally insulted me. Who coudn't act on the spot. And who had attracted me so much. I started feeling uncomfortable. He was my sister's crush. Shit! I had to get him out of my mind. And I also had to fulfill the promise I had made to myself the other day. I had to be friends with him for my sister's sake. I pretended to be excited in front of my sister and be indifferent at the same time."What this is your choice? You find him cute? What happened to you eyes?" was my immediate response. She seemed offended. "come on, he is cute." she replied. "Okay fine, just wait and watch!" I went and sat next to Rohan. I already knew some of Palak's classmates as she had introduced them to me earlier. I sat there chitchatting with them when I started talking about acting and my passion for acting (intentionally). Rohan listened to me carefully and then I turned towards him. I started talking to him about acting and after a while we both were talking about acting, college and other things. We both got so involved in talking with each other that we did not care about what people were doing around us. He got involved because we were mainly talking about his passion and I got involved for my sister's sake (or mine, couldn't figure out!). Then suddenly one of Rohan's friends started teasing both of us. He linked us with each other. I blushed! Rohan ran after him to beat him (Baah...typical guy attitude). I walked away from there and thought a lot about Rohan , Palak and me for the rest of the day. And as i sit here writing this I have decided I am going to help my sister. My feelings are not that strong. No. they are not! No way! He is just another silly strange queer looking guy. What's so special about him? Okay now, no more of Rohan..Uhh just get him out of your mind Isha!


The first day of college - 1st August, 2009 (Saturday)

"You know this guy in my class is so cute. He's got such an innocent face. OMG! He is my latest crush. I wish i had the guts to talk to him." Palak sighed as she excitedly told me about the happenings of the first day of college. Palak is my cousin. We have grown up together. We went to the same school, played together, joined the same summer classes and now have taken admission in the same college. But this time our courses are different. She, the studious one, had interest in and I opted for Journalism.
Yes, today was the first day of college. I woke up in high spirits but as soon as I entered college I was disappointed. But with a little hope left I made my way to my class. WTF..!?!? Most of my classmates are girls. This came as the biggest blow. I have to spend the next three years of my life with only girls in my class! I could see only two average looking guys sitting on the last desk. I decided there and then that college life was not going to be fun at all....atleast my first day wasn't!

But Palak's was...her keen interest in this guy made me wish to see him once. "What is his name?" I asked her with equal interest. "Rohan....Rohan Verma...Btw his friends call him RV!" She blushed. I could see sparkle in her eyes as soon as she took his name. "I'll introduce you to him tomorrow in college when you are free"  Palak almost shouted. Ha! Ha! This is the fourth time Palak has had a crush on someone. I know this girl very well. She won't ever be able to talk to him. This is what happened the last three times. And I, the exact opposite, know how to be friendly with guys. I have decided to make friends with this Rohan for my sister's sake...Hmmm...waiting for tomorrow. Let's see what has luck got in store for me!